I had a few moments to read some of the blogs I follow, and just realized that I hadn't posted in months. I think the worst of the mourning over my Mom's passing is over...breaking out in tears has almost gone. Now I should "focus" on matters at hand - what do I want this Blog to really be about.
Popular blogs I follow deal with small children, cooking, and agriculture. I do not have small children, but enjoy my "friends" sharing their stories. I don't really cook - hubby chose this as his part of the household chores - and I really don't mind. Agriculture is dear to my heart and I work in the industry, but so many of my friend bloggers can really serve the purpose better than I. I love photography and Photoshop, but I'm only an advanced "beginner".
One thing is certain, I love to write. I love sharing real moments of my life. Not that my life is that interesting, but life itself can certainly offer up topics of conversation, humor, and sadness. We all like sharing or reading other people's stories or we wouldn't be in the blogoshpere. Right? So I'll sign off for now, and will hopefully return soon with a funny story or two.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Mom's passing
One of the most dreaded events has just taken place in my life recently...I lost my Mother. Even posting it is difficult. We were very close and I miss her so very much. She was the life of the party...witty, funny, gorgeous. This is how she wanted to be remembered in death. Death?...oh the finality of it. I'm still not sure I've excepted this new reality of life without her in it. She left me a gold Angel necklace, and on the back engraved "I will always be at your side". This I know is true, but has only slightly given me comfort.
Her passing has brought up many questions about death. She was cremated and part of her ashes scattered out of state on her parents gravesites. The "rest" of her buried where my father and I will be buried when that time arrives. I have lovingly tried to have her wit and shared a few funny momemts I've had with her ashes (like sitting down at the kitchen table with her there and talking over her...something in life that would never have happened if you knew her!). But these moments were awkward at times as well. So the question remains (sorry for the pun), what will I do or my husband do upon our death. What about you? Keep in mind that I realize once you've passed that your body is a shell, but also think of it as a ritual that family has to address and deal with when you are gone. She did not want people galking at her in death, so no viewing was her wishes. That was an easy one, as she wanted her life celebrated not her death. We did give her a beautiful memorial (which she also really didn't want, but we felt necessary for us and others to have closure).
Then I think of afterlife. This one is a real brain twister. What ifs and shoulds and questions about faith and religion. All of us have different views on how we wish to perceive what happens to us when we die. I like eternal sleep since I can't seem to get enough of sleep in my world. It makes sense to me...nothingness...no pain or "looking" down on us mere mortals and sharing our earthly suffering - that's not resting in peace. Pearly gates seem a bit overdone, and our merciful lord makes me believe that fire is not something he'd prescribe (since if you believe...we are all sinners) But trenched in the Bible are the answers...right? Believers, non-believers - none of us will know until that moment, that day. My hope is that when I die, my lord will let me in on all the answers to the questions I have asked while living...WHY...?
She is not suffering now, and she was so ready to go. I loved her, I love the memories, I'll miss her so very much.
Her passing has brought up many questions about death. She was cremated and part of her ashes scattered out of state on her parents gravesites. The "rest" of her buried where my father and I will be buried when that time arrives. I have lovingly tried to have her wit and shared a few funny momemts I've had with her ashes (like sitting down at the kitchen table with her there and talking over her...something in life that would never have happened if you knew her!). But these moments were awkward at times as well. So the question remains (sorry for the pun), what will I do or my husband do upon our death. What about you? Keep in mind that I realize once you've passed that your body is a shell, but also think of it as a ritual that family has to address and deal with when you are gone. She did not want people galking at her in death, so no viewing was her wishes. That was an easy one, as she wanted her life celebrated not her death. We did give her a beautiful memorial (which she also really didn't want, but we felt necessary for us and others to have closure).
Then I think of afterlife. This one is a real brain twister. What ifs and shoulds and questions about faith and religion. All of us have different views on how we wish to perceive what happens to us when we die. I like eternal sleep since I can't seem to get enough of sleep in my world. It makes sense to me...nothingness...no pain or "looking" down on us mere mortals and sharing our earthly suffering - that's not resting in peace. Pearly gates seem a bit overdone, and our merciful lord makes me believe that fire is not something he'd prescribe (since if you believe...we are all sinners) But trenched in the Bible are the answers...right? Believers, non-believers - none of us will know until that moment, that day. My hope is that when I die, my lord will let me in on all the answers to the questions I have asked while living...WHY...?
She is not suffering now, and she was so ready to go. I loved her, I love the memories, I'll miss her so very much.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Getting Started
I am not sure where this is going, but for months now I have wanted to join my blogging friends and publish my first blog. I know I won't be as polished as many are (some even taking blogging classes), but something inside of me says that I may just have some insightful things to say.
My topics may stimulate, they may challenge you, or I dare say they may just bore you. I guess that is what blogging is all about though... it is for one to write and others to choose to follow - or not. I love to write, I love to have open and insightful conversation, and I love photography. I want to share my reality with you (life through my reality lens that is). Knowing that you have a different reality only makes me challenge my own views and question life itself. I want to be open, to share, and to explore with you some of life's many paths. Let go...get out of your comfort zone, and let's share on a level that we all may grow.
My topics may stimulate, they may challenge you, or I dare say they may just bore you. I guess that is what blogging is all about though... it is for one to write and others to choose to follow - or not. I love to write, I love to have open and insightful conversation, and I love photography. I want to share my reality with you (life through my reality lens that is). Knowing that you have a different reality only makes me challenge my own views and question life itself. I want to be open, to share, and to explore with you some of life's many paths. Let go...get out of your comfort zone, and let's share on a level that we all may grow.
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